Equinox:(

"Frenchlicker" (frenchlicker) 04/16/2015 at 19:24 • Filed to: Equinox, Test Drive

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I test drove this, it was depressing. That is all, any questions?

jkm7680 > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:24

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How horrible was it?

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:25

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Am I the only person who would prefer the Grand Marquis in the background?

CB > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:26

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Would driving an SRX be any better?

Frenchlicker > jkm7680 04/16/2015 at 19:26

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The satellitee radio wouldn't even play good music and I was pondering on whether the sound of accelerating was pumped in. Does that give perspective?

Frenchlicker > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 04/16/2015 at 19:27

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Nope, it would be vastly better, cheaper, and probably long lasting.

HammerheadFistpunch > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:27

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I think you could fill a niche for worlds most succinct tests drives.

RustedSprinter > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:28

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How tall are you? xD

G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:29

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Grand Marquis (what's the plural of Marquis?) live forever.

Saracen > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:34

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Would you have preferred hanging yourself between those lampposts?

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:35

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Take this fish gun. You'll know what to do with it.

Frenchlicker > CB 04/16/2015 at 19:35

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possibly, probably not because they are family. One can be inbred for several and then start mixing with others, but the signs of inbreeding are still there

Thunderface > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 04/16/2015 at 19:38

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Not even close :)

BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:39

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I want to buy a Trax for my 65 year old mom. Does this make me a good or bad son?

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:48

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I4/FWD? If so I can only imagine the terribleness.

Frenchlicker > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 04/16/2015 at 19:51

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Exactly

Machingadera > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:51

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Dark clouds in background = disapproving furrowed brow of the gods.

Frenchlicker > HammerheadFistpunch 04/16/2015 at 19:52

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Aren't we all tired of test drives that tell us more than we want/need to know and use too many cliches?

Frenchlicker > Saracen 04/16/2015 at 19:52

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Close, but not that drastic.

Frenchlicker > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 04/16/2015 at 19:53

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I'm mixed on that one there. If you just have to look at it and she isn't a savy person I would say good.

Frenchlicker > RustedSprinter 04/16/2015 at 19:53

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6'3"Why do you ask?

Frenchlicker > Machingadera 04/16/2015 at 19:56

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It should have been a sign. It did get sunny when I rolled into a Ford lot.

NunchuckWoolery > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:57

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A V6 solves the problem very quickly.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 19:59

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If the 3.6 was in it it would've been a better drive, trust me, the 3.6 is a pretty good motor for this car.

Frenchlicker > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 04/16/2015 at 20:06

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How much does that add to the price?

HammerheadFistpunch > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:06

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well said.

Frenchlicker > NunchuckWoolery 04/16/2015 at 20:07

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I'm trying to stick with cheaper 4 cylinders preferably.

NunchuckWoolery > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:12

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Oh gotcha. I sell Chevrolets, I've had a few of these as demos and we sell them like crazy. It's not really a bad vehicle to live with, I've never hated any of mine. But that motor is definitely underpowered and it does have quite a bit "old gm" in it. I'm hopeful that the 16 update will get rid of some of that.

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:18

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This whole segment is a snooze-fest. All of them are appliances. Look elsewhere for less depression.

These crossover things get (a tiny bit) more interesting if you go bigger (or smaller.)

RustedSprinter > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:18

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You asked for questions!

DoYouEvenShift > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:22

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So it wasnt like driving Corvette/Raptor/Hellcat?

Frenchlicker > DoYouEvenShift 04/16/2015 at 20:25

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I haven't had the balls to try and talk any dealership into letting me drive one of those. But I would assume not by a country mile.

Frenchlicker > DoYouEvenShift 04/16/2015 at 20:25

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Maybe a cheap, white Walmart toaster made into a car and given a $600 premium paint job.

norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:28

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You'd need the 1LT trim then adding the engine adds another $1,850 with a couple things thrown in there.

DoYouEvenShift > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:30

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That would be anything made by Toyota. What vehicle are you in the market for

Frenchlicker > norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback 04/16/2015 at 20:31

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Well this is close trim wise. Just short a useful engine.

Under_Score > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:38

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The new wi-fi hotspot in these is cool, but otherwise, I feel they're in dire need of a redesign. They're also pretty expensive, too, compared to other crossovers like it. Granted, there's the Trax to fill the small crossover void, but the Equinox is more in the RAV4 territory than, say, the Edge territory, in my opinion. (Trax is in that new smaller crossover category with the HR-V and friends).

Family looked at a cloth, 1LT model a few years back. Weak A/C and uncomfortable seats. I bet the LTZ models are a lot comfier. However, I won't let that one specific Equinox be the judge for all the others.

(BTW, how do you become a writer for here? As you could probably see, I'm new, but I've always wanted to write car reviews, and I figured that this would be a cool place to start. Thank you.)

Jack Does Cars > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 20:48

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My mother has a 2010 model. It's brown and has the 3.0 V6, but it is front-wheel-drive. It's quicker than I thought it would be, and it actually kinda handles. The interior plastics remind me of a water bottle, and not even the good kind. Like, "store brand water bottle on clearance, because the FDA found traces of feces and Hepatitis B in the water." I think they're that bad. But other than that, I think the V6 Equinox is a solid SUV for any middle-aged divorced mother, who wants to believe that Charlotte is worse than Raleigh, which obviously is not the case.

NoneOfYourBiz > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 21:20

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Yup.

Best friend's mom had one. The whole family thought it sucked. Too many blind spots, handled like a tank.

It's vehicles like this that make me think GM hasn't learned a damn thing in recent years.

Oddly though, my nephew's Chevy Sonic hatch with 6-speed dual clutch is amazing, and the Chevy Trax the friend's mom traded the Equinox for is quite good. (both based on the Gamma II platform) *shrug* "Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

NoneOfYourBiz > BrianGriffin thinks “reliable” is just a state of mind 04/16/2015 at 21:23

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Trax and Sonic seem to be winners, based on family and friend experience. It pains me to say that, given how awful GM vehicles are in general of late, but they seem to have stumbled onto a winning platform (Gamma II) despite themselves.

(I'd still be looking at Mazda, Honda and Hyundai first...)

Round headlight enthusiast > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 22:20

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Did the steering do that thing where it takes a million turns to lock and have virtually no feedback from the road? Cuz that's the worst.

Frenchlicker > Round headlight enthusiast 04/16/2015 at 22:22

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I can't say that I experienced that. I probably would have been way more agitated.

Frenchlicker > Jack Does Cars 04/16/2015 at 22:23

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You paint such a clear picture of their demographic. I had a now deceased coworker that drove a last gen one and I mocked him for it being a mom car.

Frenchlicker > Under_Score 04/16/2015 at 22:26

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They pretty much let anybody write on Oppo. I can't recall tall of the main Admins but I believe one is Archduke Maxyenko if I'm correct.

Frenchlicker > Under_Score 04/16/2015 at 22:27

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I think they try to cover too many bases with one model. The prices range from those of midsize to full size SUVs and about every one misses the mark a bit by being confused about its identity.

Frenchlicker > DoYouEvenShift 04/16/2015 at 22:30

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Actually I was drawn to the RAV4, until I looked at its sticker price laughed and walked away. I'm currently searching for a small to mid sized sub for $25-$27k, it's an odd search.

Frenchlicker > NoneOfYourBiz 04/16/2015 at 22:31

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Ad I mentioned in another comment this whole vehicle felt like pure old GM all the way down to the ancient feeling buttons on the infotainment system and the nasty plastic everywhere.

NoneOfYourBiz > Frenchlicker 04/16/2015 at 23:18

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We'll probably never know but vehicles like this make me wonder if there's some old-school design team still kicking around GM; a bunch of "good old boy dude-bros" who can't be fired and keep on turning out crap.

Then you get the young upstarts working on the Gamma II platform and coming up with the Sonic and Trax. Sort of Apple III versus Macintosh camps at Apple circa 1984. (there was a lot of animosity between those teams but it was also well documented; will we ever see the inner workings of GM exposed?)

Frenchlicker > NoneOfYourBiz 04/17/2015 at 08:03

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There is still a ton of old GM kicking around it seems, all the way from corporate to sales.

Under_Score > Frenchlicker 04/17/2015 at 17:07

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Thanks, man. I figured out before my comment was approved that I could write something on here, but I need to come up with something to write about first.

SALfan > G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3 04/17/2015 at 22:21

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I would!